Like most heterosexual – and perhaps homosexual – men, I spend a great deal of time and energy, as well as tapping deep into my imaginative faculties, picturing women naked. Granted, perverts like me (this being all men, naturally) are fortunate enough to live in an age where this is not too difficult an endeavor what with the current state of women’s fashion and the cultural acceptance of exposed skin. But while we are grateful every day for the modern lack of material apparent in women’s clothing, I think I speak for all men when I say that we still yearn for those intimate details sitting just beneath the surface of the body-con dress, just past the fabric on the sides of the plunging neckline, or just below the fabric that sits oh so far down on an exposed back. And if we are not driven to imagine these intimate details by the fact that they are just out of eyesight, we can also be enticed to do so by the mere shape of things. In the same way that a uniquely-shaped Christmas present boggles the mind of a child and sets his imagination off, a perfect behind wrapped up nicely in a pair of yoga pants, squeezed into a pair of jeans, or even lightly covered by the end of a sun dress can set the adult male’s imagination off as well.
There are some men who do a great deal less imagining than others. Here I am thinking of the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, who has likely seen so many nude women that he is only surprised by birthmarks and scars. He’s likely seen every shape and shade of breast and areola imaginable. But for the less-fortunate males, they have to come up with some magnificent plan to see women naked. Today, July 18, 2016, one man has inspired perverts across the country – no the world! – who are trying to picture women naked. That’s right, today one man was able to see standing before him 100 nude women. And that’s not all – he was able to photograph them as well!
Spencer Tunick was able to reach out to women across the globe by posting an ad on spencertunickcleveland.com (he may not have posted it himself as the language refers to him in the third person, but if he did and typed it that way, well that’s even better). The ad begins thusly:
“POSE NUDE in a group photograph art installation by Spencer Tunick during the week of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio.”
But wait, it takes a bit more than just that. No, some specific pandering needs to take place, for this is aimed at exploiting a certain demographic. I’ll see if you can guess whom:
“The photograph will involve 100 nude women holding large mirror discs, reflecting the knowledge and wisdom of progressive women and the concept of ‘Mother Nature’ [oh dear] into the convention center, cityscape and horizon of Cleveland. The philosophy of the artwork relates to the idea of the sacred feminine…. The woman becomes the future and the future becomes the woman.”
That’s right. Feminists! Feminists who think the best way to “stick it to the man” is to quite literally give it to the man. Give the man exactly what he wants: T & A bare for all to see.
So Spencer lined up the women, gave them mirrors to hold up (most likely to have an unhindered view of the breasts) and took photographs to show the Republicans that……well, I don’t know what they showed them…other than their tits. Headlines said that this was done to protest Donald Trump. They’re gonna have to explain that a bit further. I really don’t see how this could do anything but brighten a man’s day. I, myself, was glad that I was able to see some boobs on my Facebook timeline. Most of the women I saw were quite attractive too. I wonder if Spencer had to tell some fat, ugly women “Maybe next time,” for most of the women seemed rather fit. And thankfully there were pictures taken from multiple angles, therefore allowing me to see breasts and derrières.
Needless to say, I’m buying a camera tomorrow. To any ladies reading this, I will be taking nude photos of women to….to….um…hmm let’s see….to fight the patriarchy! Yeah! And also….Trump! Yeah! Because he’s a racist woman-hater. Fuck that guy! Take off your top! Hold something above your head! Now say “Cheese!”