Waiting For My Amazon Shipment

I couldn’t have chosen Prime.  Not even if I tried.  Prime does nothing for transatlantic shipments….

I ordered my book when I was halfway through the second-to-last book I read: that book referenced the one I ordered.  Well, I finished that book…then another…and now I’m too stressed to select another to read: once I begin another book (that I could only read half-heartedly, my mind distracted by the expectation of my new book), the other will arrive and I’ll feel obligated to finish what I started – even though I genuinely want to abandon it….

Every book reminds me of the awaited.  Every mail truck.  Every mention of FedEx, UPS, etc.

One is not complete until they received the package they await, for this package carries within it what one expects to fill some emptiness in their life, be it literally or figuratively (i.e. a spot on a shelf, a hole in their soul).

This book becomes my adopted child.  It will either fulfill me or disappoint me.  I watch it age, weather with time.  One day, perhaps later than some books, perhaps earlier, it will leave the house and be paired with another.

I go to the mailbox: nothing.

I order another book from the States, seeking a more rapid fulfillment.  Again, I couldn’t choose Prime (third-party seller).

I wait.

Every book reminds me of the awaited.  Every mail truck.  Every mention of FedEx, UPS, etc.

Emails arrive.  HA! Pathetic, simple, ephemeral, frivolous emails.  “Your package has shipped.”

I wait.

I go to the mailbox: nothing.

I come home: packages!  Not my book….

A knock on the door, Saturday.  The postman walking away from the door to his truck.  It’s parked right in front of the house.  A package on the ground, large and squared: not my book.  I pick it up: very light.  Not my book….

I should order something else on Prime.  It will probably arrive quickly.

I should read something short so I’m not terribly invested in something else when my book finally arrives.  Short stories, essays, poems.  I can’t focus.  Everything makes me think of the book that is to come.

I should order something else on Prime.  Something that will get here quickly.